30 posts tagged “work”
I'm back from a weekend with the boy -- the first in a month (way too long, not going that long between visits again if we can possibly help it) -- busy with work and planning for all things free and interesting at sxsw. Seems like all of interactive is locked down tight and, wouldn't you know it, my 'in' for a handful of events was laid off recently. Still there will be plenty to see and do that is free or available for a few bucks, and now I'm just trying to figure out a schedule that will be fun and of more than passing interest to the bitchbuzz audience. I'll be hitting up some stuff in the evenings, and I'm hoping to take at least one day off from work to wander around town with a camera and a moleskin. And good friends, too, of course. (I've put in for 2 days, but not sure it's wise to take them, even though I have them and lord knows they want us to use them.)
But that's the reason I may not be around for bit. I'm alive, just busy, and hustling.
Oh such a day. Up, down, and all over.
Of the layoffs that were announced in January five hundred of that count were given notice today. Though my immediate team and I have been assured we're, um, safe for the duration...come on, that's what they're supposed to say..today cut a little closer because someone I thought was safe turned up on the chopping block. Did you see my previous post about how one guy handles, among other things, our youtube channel? Yup. He's hitting the road. Adios.
Heard an NPR story yesterday (I think) about something akin to 'survivors' guilt' for all the folks actually making it through each round of layoffs. But unlike survivors' guilt there's also the nagging sense of impending doom that's, oh, eating at everyone's souls. I wouldn't say I'm exactly feeling that...but I do feel bad for everyone else and I am a little freaked out. I didn't think I was, but my insomnia and general stress level beg to differ.
So after hearing the bad news today I hit the gym with my ipod shuffle full of new music and busted out a great, painful workout. Not painful like I tore something, but like I'm a weakling who needs to keep pushing it...or making, smart steady progress...whatever. But it felt damn good. And the music...
This journey started last year at SXSW when I caught Helmet at the Viper Room Austin. Then with the introduction of the boy came a whole other world of angry, passionate, poetic, well, metal. Though not metal, the amazing Mars Volta live at Austin City Limits blew my mind. Top that with two seasons of Metalocalypse and I was primed for the convo this past weekend with a friend of my St. Louis friends who mentioned, "You should totally check out Opeth." And so I did. And I'm loving it. Them. Whatever.
The night finished off with sushi takeout from the grocery store (thanks to Mom's gift card) and the last of the Friends episodes in my possession. It's been a good night. An unexpected and welcome end to a blah turned holy shit day.
But it's a quarter to one and I'm still awake. Tired, venting here, but still awake. Time for benadryl and valerian root tea I think. I'm hoping the dreams will be forgetful and the sleep restful. Come what may.
But I'm awake...not sure why.
Maybe it's the meeting I have tomorrow. It's a video conference call at 9 am with the euro group currently hosting a site that we're going to move in-house. It's going to be a mess--the site, not the meeting. Multiple regions, countries, nine languages in all. I think I'm a little nervous. More about waking up on time than anything else. Maybe.
Maybe it's the email I just read a while ago, sent Saturday morning, to all of us on the web team. It said to relax and try not to fret over the weekend, but also explained how contractors may possibly be affected by those reductions. Five percent...I wish. It looks like it could be ten to fifteen. Very frustrating if that's the case. I won't really know for sure until Tuesday or Wednesday this week. I suppose I shouldn't borrow trouble, but it seems very hard right now to keep my mind positive. I'm not above another job, more writing, etc. but it would be nice to have that an option and not a necessity.
Maybe it's the writing I haven't been able to bring to a close. Pieces I've been working on, but have either lost interest or confidence in and can't bring myself to tie off and try to send. My apologies to those who I owe work. I will try to get you several finished bits this week. Will try to avoid economy related issues that are clearly foremost on my mind.
Maybe it's the pain in my left knee, or rather, the pain I thought was my knee but appears to be the muscle just above it and on the inside of my thigh. Probably should have stayed off of it completely today, but I didn't want to lose the day of training. Not a few minutes into my treadmill run, though, I knew I couldn't take the impact. I opted for the stationary bike instead with hills and resistance. Maybe I shouldn't have. Even though I stretched and felt a little better right after, my leg's continued to stiffen up since then. I'm in bed now, but I couldn't lift my leg up on it's own. Have it propped now and trying not to move. Worried about the half marathon in mid Feb...the registration fee is non-refundable and non-transferable. Worried about having to hit up a doctor...while using my hands to lift my leg up onto the bed, I suddenly had a flash of memory and realized this feels just like an old injury from way back in the day. Maybe it's a reinjury. Maybe I should stick to yoga. Swimming. Lifting. Low impact cardio. How boring.
Sigh. I could go on like this for a while. Still not sleepy. But going to try to turn off my brain. My meeting is less than 7 hours away.
The Good
My cousin Justin--who I was helping with his college applications--has
let me know that while he's still waiting to hear from most of the
private schools, he's been accepted to U.T. Austin, to Cal State
Fullerton, and to St. Mary's in San Antonio. So at the very least he
has some options that he can also afford, particularly U.T. and St.
Mary's--the latter has already awarded him some scholarship funds. I
think U.T.'s the better choice, however, money wise. So even if his
folks have a major financial disruption--and that's definitely a
possibility as his pop works for CitiCorp--the kid can breathe a little
more easily now.
The Bad
Easy come, easy go. AMD just announced a reduction in force and paycuts
across the board. It's not explicitly stated that outsource-ers are
involved...but if so, I'll be experiencing a 5% pay cut..and let's hope nothing worse. And all my
co-workers who just--and I mean, JUST, like right before
Christmas--moved over to AMD from contract positions will be
experiencing a 10% paycut. Ouch, ouch, and ouch. Guess I'll be keeping
that retail job after all...provided they don't let me go as part of
their own reductions. Macy's is closing stores and reducing force too.
So, how's your weekend shaping up?
Ok, not really. I'm just the lead project manager for the web launch. See here and here.
If you take a look at the reviews and specs, you'll get a good idea of the detailed reasons to buy AMD processors and products instead of others--sexiest of all is that they burn cooler and quieter in general than the competition, and in the case of this particular processor are less expensive for the same or better level of performance.
But also, and perhaps most importantly, AMD's the non Wal-Mart of the computer world. If you don't shop at Wal-Mart because of political, social, moral convictions, then you should likely shop AMD for the same ones. AMD's the little guy. Without it, there's no competition for the big guys and they get to charge you--and their business partners--whatever they like. Sometimes that may mean a smaller price for you...but a tiny profit margin or extremely restrictive terms for their partners, which limits competition and makes profitability and maintaining employment numbers harder for them.
So buy AMD already.
I spent most of today figuring out how to get some work done while my access was limited and Outlook was giving me many issues. Seems my services were terminated, or so sayeth IT. And no, that doesn't mean I'm fired...just that I'm coming up in their system as term'd. I'm not the only one with issues though. Had a co-worker denied VPN access (which I still have for some reason) on Monday morning and he called in first thing to be told he was terminated on Christmas Eve. Can you say heart attack? Anyway, it all appears to be some sort of automated snafu that no one has been able to identify, but the fix is having two levels of managers reinstate access. Give you 3 guesses how many managers aren't on vacay right now. Alright, true they do work hard, blah, blah, blah, but terribly inconvenient to all be gone right now. They are checking email in the evenings, however, so hopefully all will be fixed manana.
Other than playing dueling laptops today, I also finished the paperwork to refi my mortgage. Always a fun time, and hard to swallow those damn closing costs, the refi will nevertheless make a difference in my monthly cashflow, which in turn means the ability to pay down my credit card debt (owing about half to Evita's med bills) in the next few months while not incurring anymore, and still being able to make my reduced student loan payments. I won't be in the position to save, beyond what already goes to my retirement and health care spending plans, but zero credit card debt will save me the cost of interest and that alone makes me feel hopeful.
Today was day 2 of week 1 of my targeted training for the Austin Half-Marathon. I've modified a first-timer's 10 week start-up from Runners magazine to get me there in 7 weeks. The type-A side of my personality was inclined to go balls-out and modify the experienced marathoner program, but I'm trying to hold that psycho beast at bay. Taking it slow with just 2 mile runs yesterday and today. Despite some soreness, I felt stronger today and pushed my minutes-per-mile to 10.5. I probably could have pushed it to between 9 and 10, but that's not what the program calls for and I'm going to do my best to stick to a set regimen. I don't want to burn out or injure myself like some daffy weekend warrior who doesn't know any better. Besides, every Saturday calls for serious distance--beginning with 8 miles this weekend--albeit with breaks, and I want to save my knees for those hauls.
I'll be in Arlington again this weekend. The boy is going to add me to his gym membership, which is very kind of him and will make my gym dues well below what they would be otherwise, and I'll be able to do that 8 miler at the River Legacy park that I love. (Just pray the unseasonably warm Texas weather continues. I despise running in the cold.) I'm uber excited to see him and celebrate the new year, watch his Huskers battle it out in the Gator Bowl, and generally have another wonderful time. The twist is that this time I'll be bringing the Cheese, also known as Evita/Velveeta with me. She traveled so well to and from El Paso that I'm not too worried about her on such a short trip. I just hope his cats aren't too startled by her. She won't mind them, but I'd hate for them to hide all weekend because of her.
As for actual New Year's Eve, I will be walking over to a neighbor's house to hang out with them, their little boy, and another pair of good friends and their 2 daughters who also live just down the street from me. It will be quiet and laid back, but sure to have good food and laughs and, really, I prefer that to just about anything else--especially the club scene. Blech! [Side note: my sister was groped repeatedly at a 'nice' club back home and finally had to make a scene to get one drunken a-hole to back off. If I were her, well, let me just say that I can take care of myself. And if I had been with her...well, that's another story. She's much too 'nice' in my opinion, at least to strangers.] Then I shall wake early, refreshed and rested, to pack the car, pick up some menudo, and hit the road.
All for now I suppose. I'm going to do some quick ab work, then make dinner and try to write. Hoping to get back on schedule soon. Oh, one more thing--a major milestone was reached today when I did my first unaided pull-up since high school. True it was with a close-in, underhand grip, and from a standing position and not a dead-hang, but it shows progress since I started with my over the door pull-up bar. I know it probably doesn't sound like much, but it's a big deal to me. I dislike feeling weak. And it's not about size, either. I don't mind body weight as long as I can carry it, as long as it's useful. It's much more a mental/physical sense of being capable...being able to run if I need to, lift if I have to, knock the wind out of some douche-bag at a club if he dares touch my little sister...you get the point.
Spending the weekend with the boy to celebrate his b-day. He'd old now. ;)
Watching movies (WALL-E and Prince Caspian) and vegging, and sleeping finally last night--a restful sleep, not the fits of sleep I've been catching a couple of hours at a time for the last two weeks. Still need more, but the chorizo and eggs first course today (you know, the breakfast of champions) should help on the path to restoration.
We're actually watching another film right now, so I have to go. But here's hoping for a weekend of rest and relaxation for everyone. Cheers!
This week is a mandatory shut-down (meaning stay out of the office and use your vacation so we don't have to carry it on our books at end of year for the love of god don't you know we're in a recession). But I have a lot of work to do, to catch up on and prep for some upcoming projects, so I've been cleared to work this week. That means I'm working from home the whole time which, for me, is utter bliss. It means I can try to organize my home life without spending money for gas or wasting commute time, without wasting more time trying to look put-together for the office, and I can also work the daytime hours at Macy's on Black Friday.
I have a work to-do list and a home to-do list. The home one includes writing out the fundraising plan for my tri club and trying to write 6 articles (at least drafts) for bitchbuzz so I don't have to worry about them in the next several weeks when work is going to be killer and sleep will be hard to come by.
Speaking of sleep, I'm not sure if it was the reduced stress level from being able to stay home this week or the fact that I finally scraped together the cash to refill my allergy prescription, but Iast night's sleep was heavenly. Even waking up a couple of times and checking on the doggy, etc. didn't ruin it. When I finally sat up after my alarm today, admittedly a bit later than usual, I felt like, well...I felt new. Younger. (I'm sort of weirded out that I can use 'younger' as an adjective, implying I suppose that I also feel 'older' from time to time.)
It's probably a combination of things though--the same things that have kept me from posting, writing, working out, etc.--starting to let up. Not just work, which has been extremely busy, but also a few other things.
I think my last post may have been about my review and the fact I was about to do 'the ask' for more cash. I wrote a damn good letter and hoped for the best. My manager called me on Friday night, said she didn't want me to have to wait for the holiday to hear back. They're moving me to a PM3 role, a step or 2 up, and plan to move me to the team lead in the next few months. While she's not the one who talks about numbers--never did, not even when I was hired--she assured me that those moves translate to 2 bumps in pay, the first of which should come just after Thanksgiving. The folks at corporate should have the numbers for me when we head back into the office. I'm crossing my fingers it's enough that I can pay down and then not use my credit cards for regular expenses each month, and then, hopefully by the end of 2009, if not sooner, I can stop paying my student loans interest only. Oh, and I would love to feel good about putting a little money away each month into savings--just so I can have cash in the bank for once in my life.
Another stress was my dog Evita who's been having all kinds of trouble since early October. Both vets at my regular clinic ruled everything they could think of out and sent me to a specialty clinic for consultation with a surgeon this past Friday. Poor Evita. She's still got the same goofy personality. You wouldn't really know anything was wrong with her except that she won't put any weight on her right leg--which is exacerbating her hip dysplasia on the left side. Initially, for the first 40 minutes or so during our appointment she was still a medical mystery to them, but then another surgeon was brought in for consult to check one last thing. And that was it. She has a nerve root tumor that is affecting the back right leg. Unlike many other cancers, this kind of tumor doesn't respond to the usual treatments. Amputation isn't an option because the tumor is so close to the spine. The location also makes removal almost impossible without major damage to the dog. I did some research and most of what I found was in veterinary journals; it looks like 70% of dogs (who don't have to be euthanized due to nerve damage) recur within 2-5 months of attempted removal. So, unfortunately, we are back to treating her just for pain and keeping her comfortable with whatever works.Think we're going to be trying prednisone (steroid) this week. It sucks, and Friday was hard and weepy for me, but like I said, other than the leg, you wouldn't know she was any different. I think I've made my peace with it--as best as possible. I'll be taking her home for Christmas again. The vets haven't been able to tell me what kind of timeframe we're looking at--every dog is different--so it's just wait and see. Somehow, though, knowing what is up with her and that I'm doing, now, all that I can is a relief. At least she won't have to go to the vet anymore.
Macy's is another story. The work isn't hard. Perhaps a little dangerous from time to time (the stockroom is a nightmare and equipment is just a lawsuit waiting to happen). Still, I think having above average smarts has been helpful. I think I acclimated to the ways of doing things very quickly, and I pretty much know the whole floor, not just my department, now. I don't push credit on customers, even though it's something we're supposed to, because eff that, times are hard and I don't want to be a merchant of doom. I generally just try to be helpful and I don't mind organizing shelves, etc. during downtimes. Plus, since I work in the homestore, I'm surrounding by lots of beautiful things for Christmas (Waterford crystal 12 days of Christmas goblets, ornaments, etc.) and they've been piping Christmas music in for weeks now. Every so often a song will come on that makes me feel like I'm about to have a panic attack...nostalgia hitting me like a brick wall...but I'm usually busy and so it passes in the same moment. My only complaint is that a full shift (like the ones I had both Saturday and Sunday this past weekend) really is pretty hard on my feet. I have one pair of boots that I can wear with good inserts that seem to do the job, but I can't wear the boots with everything, and so I have achy feet at night. All in all not a bad gig. (Even if management does seem a bit uninvolved, unresponsive, etc...oh well, I won't be there for too long I hope.)
Watching 2 of the cats play right now. They're trying to bait eachother into making the first move. An all out wrestling match is sure to ensue any second now.
I should go though. It's time to sign into the VPN and get to work. Hoping your week, and mine too, will be relaxed and groovy and your turkey day will fatten you up for the holidays. Gobble, gobble.
Tired. Exhausted. Annoyed. Overworked. Underpaid.
That was just too negative to do tonight. Let's just say that every time I look up the work is piled higher and I am ever falling behind.
My non work commitments are slipping as a result and that annoys me to no end. I need to write out a fundraising plan for the tri group. I need to write weeks ahead for bitchbuzz. I need to schedule time with my little cousin for the rest of his college apps. I need to start applying out for jobs again. I hate being taken advantage of by anyone, and my employer is no different.
And I need to sleep. Good night.
So tired. So early. What gives...maybe a bit of a cold? Who knows. Allergies kicked me in the head earlier today.
Stressed. Realizing that with the regular job and the second job's scheduling this week, I'm only going to have about 10 waking hours of my own--for writing, dogwalking, even showering. Forget any sort of workout this week. Must cut the morning wake-up and ready routine by half so I can capture some extra sleep.
What's more, I'm meeting with my manager for my annual review tomorrow. I'm nervous. Not really about the review--I am fairly confident it's positive--but rather about what it will translate to, if anything, in terms of pay increase. Breadcrumbs will be very disappointing.
On top of which, I feel behind on a dozen projects at work and at least 3 should have been entered in queue last week but I let them slip and that's a huge no-no. Permission and plan to pass off a few areas has been given, but the transition will still take a couple of weeks and I'm drowning now.
So tired and want to be in bed, but waiting for Evita's dog bed to dry. Poor thing. Right back leg is wasting away. Have to take her to the specialist this week. Fuck credit cards. But thanks goodness I have them.
On the upside, got my TV sans pay cable subscription to pick up digital broadcasts tonight. So at least I have news and such on the tele now that I've cancelled the cable.
All for now. I'm grumpy and sniffly and missing the boy. And just for fun, the sleeping Evita has terrible gas and is making me need to flee the room.
Goodnight.
